Unworthy ..
.. wow. Isn't it crazy how you can be *this* person .. wyld, crazy, confident, positive, strong, logical, etc .. doing everything and anything to keep it together for you and your loved ones and then 1 single action or situation breaks down those sturdy hurricane proof walls you took years to build?
And then sadly once you get it in your head that you are no longer worthy of good things you create this cycle that tells you to deserve it. To do what you gotta do but it's just not going to get better than this. And then weeks, months, years go by .. perpetuating your own stereotype under your facade of "everything's fine" until you hit a decade mark.
You obliterate *that straw* and your life goes to shit and the blinders come off. Every depressed moment, every "Oh you can handle it .. you're strong .. you never have anything you can't handle" dumps you into a burbling void of utter despair. And with no end in sight .. possible cancer, poor health, broken bones, etc .. you say again to your self. "See .. I am unworthy. The universe is telling me so."
Yeah right. Your loved ones bitch slap the holy hell out of you and straightens your head up and all of a sudden .. "Is that AIR? Am I breathing? Where did I freaking go? What the seven hells is that sad, broken and lifeless shell around me?" You decide to test the universe and ask it for answers and remind it, and yourself, that you ARE fucking worthy.
That you are worthy and divine.
And then .. there is .. light.
And then sadly once you get it in your head that you are no longer worthy of good things you create this cycle that tells you to deserve it. To do what you gotta do but it's just not going to get better than this. And then weeks, months, years go by .. perpetuating your own stereotype under your facade of "everything's fine" until you hit a decade mark.
You obliterate *that straw* and your life goes to shit and the blinders come off. Every depressed moment, every "Oh you can handle it .. you're strong .. you never have anything you can't handle" dumps you into a burbling void of utter despair. And with no end in sight .. possible cancer, poor health, broken bones, etc .. you say again to your self. "See .. I am unworthy. The universe is telling me so."
Yeah right. Your loved ones bitch slap the holy hell out of you and straightens your head up and all of a sudden .. "Is that AIR? Am I breathing? Where did I freaking go? What the seven hells is that sad, broken and lifeless shell around me?" You decide to test the universe and ask it for answers and remind it, and yourself, that you ARE fucking worthy.
That you are worthy and divine.
And then .. there is .. light.
posted by Decayed Decadence | 9:29 PM
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