Is this me?
Gemini Horoscope - 2/3/06
You are continuing your search into the intensity of your shadows -- the uncomfortable places within your mind. Given the choice, you often steer clear of the darkness, yet now there is a powerful attraction. Courage is the key as you will be changed by what you discover; facing the unknown can transform your fear into love.
Possibly me ......................................... no, it is me.
The darkness surrounds me, imbues me .. gnaws its teeth upon my soul as it if were starved for years. As if I have not walked a thousand agonized miles filled with despair, pain and travails. I know it's there and has always been there .. the savagery, the animal instincts, the snarling demoness and raging tigress simmering below the surface.
All things and every thing resides within me and I greet them constantly .. some hidden deeper more than others. But they are still there. The baggage I thought I had left behind, or sent off with the exiting of those that are no longer part of my world, becomes found amongst the rubble of the new obliterations of me.
Some still whole, amazingly, triggering new hurts, angers and unknowns with their weight. The rest are edged weapon sharp .. slicing through the hope, through the joy, through the positive .. with a single swipe without question; delivering blow upon blow of negative feelings. My ragged moans making no difference in their silent shreds.
Questioning myself, questioning others, questioning my life as I *know* it, *perceive* it and *trust* them to be .. a mockery of stability in grandiose proportions.
I feel the goodness, the sweetness, the beauty and wonders of me with a distinct cocaine tang .. a rush, and ebullient, bubbling blood rush to the brain and senses .. but, not always, not enough, not to the extent that where once was a brilliant gleam of diamond-like clarity.
What resides and presides is only the barest glimmer of spark. Cold the heat of me, hot the cold distance .. a reverse Yin-Yang .. a bastardization of inharmonious harmony. So I go left when my spirit yearns for right, I go down when I reach for height. Down, and down, and down until all that is before me escapes true sight .. the spiraling making my entire being nauseous .. to throw up chunks of life's bitter bile.
And my mind, heart, spirit and soul know no rest .. clarity in exhaustion in the end?
You are continuing your search into the intensity of your shadows -- the uncomfortable places within your mind. Given the choice, you often steer clear of the darkness, yet now there is a powerful attraction. Courage is the key as you will be changed by what you discover; facing the unknown can transform your fear into love.
Possibly me ......................................... no, it is me.
The darkness surrounds me, imbues me .. gnaws its teeth upon my soul as it if were starved for years. As if I have not walked a thousand agonized miles filled with despair, pain and travails. I know it's there and has always been there .. the savagery, the animal instincts, the snarling demoness and raging tigress simmering below the surface.
All things and every thing resides within me and I greet them constantly .. some hidden deeper more than others. But they are still there. The baggage I thought I had left behind, or sent off with the exiting of those that are no longer part of my world, becomes found amongst the rubble of the new obliterations of me.
Some still whole, amazingly, triggering new hurts, angers and unknowns with their weight. The rest are edged weapon sharp .. slicing through the hope, through the joy, through the positive .. with a single swipe without question; delivering blow upon blow of negative feelings. My ragged moans making no difference in their silent shreds.
Questioning myself, questioning others, questioning my life as I *know* it, *perceive* it and *trust* them to be .. a mockery of stability in grandiose proportions.
I feel the goodness, the sweetness, the beauty and wonders of me with a distinct cocaine tang .. a rush, and ebullient, bubbling blood rush to the brain and senses .. but, not always, not enough, not to the extent that where once was a brilliant gleam of diamond-like clarity.
What resides and presides is only the barest glimmer of spark. Cold the heat of me, hot the cold distance .. a reverse Yin-Yang .. a bastardization of inharmonious harmony. So I go left when my spirit yearns for right, I go down when I reach for height. Down, and down, and down until all that is before me escapes true sight .. the spiraling making my entire being nauseous .. to throw up chunks of life's bitter bile.
And my mind, heart, spirit and soul know no rest .. clarity in exhaustion in the end?
posted by Decayed Decadence | 12:59 PM
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